Two Words: Christmas Can-Can

OK, maybe it's actually three words...

Nonetheless, it's a great video to watch. Enjoy.

Filed under  //   christmas   holidays   humor   video  

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Two Words: Thanksgiving Humor

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Happy Thanksgiving

With thanks to my friend Roy Block for sending the humor.
Filed under  //   holidays   humor   Thanksgiving  

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About

To order a copy of the magazine or to read more about it, please visit
scottqmarcus.magcloud.com

Scott “Q” Marcus, founder, publisher, and editor of Two Words magazine has a three-decade career in the media as a DJ, talk show host, Music Director, Program Director, Operations Director and later: sales manager, station manager, and general manager of various radio and TV stations. He also produces marketing seminars at www.HumboldtMarketingSeminar.com and is a sales and marketing consultant for the Northcoast Small Business Development Center.

Two Words magazine is associated with http://www.LongDistanceMarketing.com, his blog about all things marketing. The magazine is a creative, literary piece designed to uplift and inspire its readers. It is comprised of several articles, written by various people. Each issue is dedicated to a two-word theme (hence the clever title, huh?) If you would like to submit to Two Words magazine, please visit www.TwoWordsMagazine.com and read the submission standards.

Scott Q's Background:
In 1994, Scott lost 70 pounds and became a THINspirational Speaker (and recovering perfectionist). He now helps individuals and organizations overcome procrastination and perfectionism to be happier, healthier, and more productive. He is the past president of the Northern California chapter of the National Speakers Association, a Weight Watchers Diamond Leader, and a syndicated columnist with three books (at www.CompletelyInspired.com )

His presentations are described as “a cross between Business 101, Group Therapy and a Southern Revival.” He strongly suggests that in order to get the most of his presentation, you put your left-brain on hold.
Finally, although he has lost a great deal of weight and is a Weight Watchers leader, he is not a “food cop.” He will not watch what you eat if you do not watch what he eats. (Although he might be persuaded to do a seminar in your city in exchange for Chocolate or French Fries.)

To read his weight loss blog, please visit www.ForeverFightingFat.com

To read his columns, please visit www.WeightLossColumn.com

To visit his main website, please visit
www.scottqmarcus.com